One of the biggest challenges that many relationships face is simply not understanding how the other person communicates their love, and how they recognize that they are loved.
People have different ideas about what constitutes love and appreciation, and that’s where 5 Love Languages come in.
Originally popularized in the book by Gary Chapman, the Languages are Gifts, Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch.
In order to get the most out of this concept, you need to identify two things:
- The Language in which you best perceive love.
- The Language in which your partner best perceives love.
It sounds a little complicated, so let me give you an example using my husband and myself.
My husband feels loved when I spend Quality Time with him.
I nurture our relationship by using blocks of time just being with him. We might watch a movie, cook together, or listen to music.
Whatever it is, he knows that I’m making time just for him, and that’s what makes him feel the most loved.
On the other hand, I prefer Physical Touch. Frequently, when we’re just sitting together, he’ll scratch my back or rub my neck.
My husband isn’t naturally very touchy-feely, so it makes me feel special that he enjoys this kind of contact with me and recognizes that I need it.
If it’s Words of Affirmation, remind your partner about one of his or her best qualities. If it’s Gifts, pick up a little something that reminds you of them.
What about Acts of Service? Learn to cook their favorite meal, and surprise them.
Making your partner feel loved isn’t something that requires grand gestures on a yearly basis. If you like to make big, romantic plans, that’s great!
But you can have a happy, healthy relationship just by learning how your partner feels most loved and nurturing that every day.