Leading The Stud to Sex Toys
When suggesting bringing sex toys into the bedroom, a variety of emotions can emerge. Such as one’s sense of adventure, their curiosity, their anxiety, violation of privacy, and even the feeling of being threatened.
The feeling of being threatened definitely comes into play when it comes to the male ego, especially their sexual ego. For practically every culture across the globe teaches its males that they are the all-knowing as if they are as omnipotent as whatever god they serve. So whether you are approaching him with the idea of bringing in sex toys, or if he is the one making the suggestion, it is a situation that needs to be handled with extreme care. For regardless of sexual orientation or position he is to play, the male sexual ego is what gives him the power to perform.
Males act as if the Kama Sutra was implanted in our brains at birth, came to the forefront when we were taught the birds and the bees, and once we become sexually active, we may sometimes even act as if we’ve written new positions into the Kama Sutra to make it bigger. But that is only on the surface. For the fact is we know we didn’t, and that outward self-hype is to hide our inner-fear that our partner will bolt out the door if the truth comes out that we all still have much to learn. Well, if that does happen, then it’s sad to say, but your partner is trash. For a partner worth their weight in gold has the patience and is willing to go on that journey of learning with you, even offering themselves as a sexual guinea pig to try out the new things you’ve learned.
So how do you get a guy to bring sex toys into the bedroom? Well, with some guys, it actually takes no effort at all. For he’s already interested. In fact, he might beat you to the punch of bringing up the subject of sex toys in the bedroom, which I will get into further near the closing of this article.
In many cases, however, males will fall into one of 2 extremes. And here is how you can try handling each of those extremes:
Suggesting Toy Play To A Man
1. Take him to a sex shop to buy a necessity for your relationship.
This is a tactic for the aforementioned typical male. Buy something like condoms or lube, or a sexy gag gift for a friend. He may likely at first wonder why you need to go to a sex shop to buy condoms or lube when you can easily get one or both by taking a trip to a nearby tiny convenience store, pharmacy, or grab free packets at a bar. Let your excuse be the truth…Yes, they have them at those places, but you want a variety to choose from that those places don’t provide. Once there, at some point, he’ll have to turn around and see all of the toys around him. This will bring a twinkle to his eye since males love gadgets regardless of that gadget’s purpose. So his interest will be piqued whether he’s looking at anything from the simplest tiny battery-operated vibrator, to a rechargeable one even if it looks phallic.
Case in point, I once heard a female come into a sex shop looking for a lube. She was with her boyfriend. The boyfriend with his bravado looked around the store saying that none of what was there was necessary, and that it was all in a toy purchaser’s mind. My inside voice responded to him saying, “Really? Then why did your girlfriend bring you here with her? AND why were you walking around the store for an additional 15 – 20 minutes after you got that lube that you initially claimed that you came for?”
I love women for their subtlety. For the woman just chuckled at her boyfriend’s comment. I saw right away that she was letting her boyfriend’s actions of staying there in the store with her speak louder than his words of turning tail and running.
2. Just be direct and suggest it.
If you know your man has less of an ego and is also an adventurer (overtly or secretly), he’ll jump at the chance to try something new. He won’t be threatened by the insecurity that a sex toy will replace him. All you have to take note of is his range of openness at that time. For at first suggestion, while he may be open to the idea of trying something new, he might not necessarily be open to going all out immediately. So telling him to “go hard, or go home” might make him do just that for good. Replacing you with someone more understanding of the time he needs to progress. For just as you needed time to progress to where you are with sex toys, so does he.
When He Suggests Toy Play
Now to address this as promised, with all of that said, especially considering the fragility of the male sexual ego, if your guy brings up the idea of sex toys into the bedroom, if it was a mutual thought, go with it. However, if you are some degree skittish about the idea, it’s best advised that you at least reward him by meeting him half-way. For it took a lot for that male to say in words or actions, “From time to time, I might not be enough to fulfill you alone. So for those times, let’s enhance our time together by bringing something else in.”
Whatever the case, be your man the one suggesting the use of toys, or the one that the use of toys is being suggested to, a mutual respect of the others level of sex toy play knowledge must be implemented. For be it couples, or friends with benefits, sex partners that grow together, stay playing together.