How I found my girlfriend while being with my boyfriend
When Jake and I finished high school, we both went to college in New York.
We found ourselves inseparable. He was the home-comfort of my small hometown that I needed. I was the girl that managed to ground him through freshers.
We became intertwined in our new-found freedom in the Big Apple. I wouldn’t have had it any other way.
By the time Christmas came, Jake had made a dozen applications for internships. The only thing is, he went and got accepted by a firm all the way in California. It was an amazing opportunity. But I couldn’t pretend I wasn’t going to miss him.
So life threw us apart – 2,000 miles apart to be exact. We were tossed to each side of the country. My heart-ached for Jake.
I dived headfirst into New York nightlife without him, in a desperate bid to forget about the distance between us. I spent nights dancing with strangers, their hot bodies grinding up on me in Smokey clubs or after-hour bars.
My newfound love-affair with nightlife showed me that the world was a sea of other people – each with emotions, personalities, and characters that I would like. That I might be attracted too.
The very thought of it made me feel alive.
So I started playing little games. And letting my allure for other women and men take my thoughts away from Jake.
When I went for drinks with my girls, I would pretend that I was on a date. I’d stand next to the single guy at the bar, pretend that he was the one buying my drinks tonight. I would introduce myself to girls ordering cocktails and imagine what going on a date with them might be like.
It occurred to me that I loved Jake, I loved him with all my heart. But I needed something more.
By the time that Jake came back to New York, I raised a proposition with him. We had been together for two years at this point, and I felt that even if he didn’t agree with me, at least he would understand my feelings.
“I want to date other people, but I don’t want to break up with you.”
I had expected fireworks. I had expected a scene. I had expected him to be shocked – raging – angry. But he was calm. And he agreed.
We both made use of Tinder, using it as a way to show the other one who we might be interested in. We had a rule that we couldn’t sleep with anyone else, but we could go on dates and kiss and flirt.
At first, it was hard to accept. I was happy to have my cake and eat it, but hearing Jake tell me about other girls hurt sometimes. It made me doubt if polyamory was really for me, or our relationship.
I was tangled in my emotions. But Jake managed to pull me out with his words.
We spent hours talking about our jealousy. I went from an angry, shaking mess to a calm, ambient and peaceful person.
He assured me that he would never go all the way with anyone else, and we had complete honesty and understanding to one another through our relationship, even if other people didn’t understand it.
That rule soon changed when Jake found himself completing another internship in Washington D.C, and I found myself head-over-heels for a girl called Francesca.
I met her on the dancefloor of a New York gay club, the lights flickered on her face. When I got closer and saw the freckles scattered across her nose like stars, I felt like I was in love.
Half of my heart was with her, on that dancefloor. The other was with Jake, tucked away in his white-washed apartment in the capital of America.
My nights with Francesca were like no other. Jake relished in the details, and we felt closer than ever. He soothed my anxieties and I cherished his understanding. I knew in my heart there would never be another like him.
The first time that I came back home after a wild experience with Francesca, I needed to call Jake and tell him everything! So I gave him a video call. After he picked up, I realized it wasn’t easy for me to explain everything that happened, but he made me comfortable in expressing what happened. He was very curious and turned on by it all. The more we talked about it, the more we desired each other. He would stroke his cock against his camera, whilst I played with my nipples and sucked on my fingers. And in that moment there was no distance between us.
When Jake finished his internship, he moved back to New York with a bang. After a few months, we decided that we should move in with one another, now that I had finally graduated from college and was looking for a career.
After being in a long-distance relationship for so long, it felt like we were starting a new chapter in our lives. Not only because we were in the same city now, but also because we were both in a polyamorous relationship, and we both loved each other's partners.
Yes, I said both. Jake met Ariel in a supermarket in the neighborhood and they hit it off. She is also around our age and this wasn’t her first polyamorous relationship. She was single at the time she met Jake and it was not long before she fell in love with Jake. When I met her I got the feeling that we were complete.
Since we’ve been living together, I don’t spend as many crazy, alcohol-fuelled nights out in New York anymore. But I do sometimes go over to Francesca’s, and Jake to Ariel’s and we both return back home to each other.
Our polyamorous relationship ignited a fire inside both of us and to this day, it still smokes and spits. It burns deep in our hearts.
We still have our love and trust, which makes us strong and confident in each other and our other relationships.
This gives us an inner sort of peace that only the four of us understand.
Our. little. Secret.
About the Hedonistologist
The Hedonistologist is a project run by a French-born designer that always had a soft spot for drawing and butts. With a will to bring a new spirit and personal aesthetic into the world of erotic art. The project aims to represent a more liberated approach to natural sensuality and the topic of sexuality and wellness in human cultures through art.
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About I Feel You
#IFeelYou is the celebration of the free-minded. The restless innovators that believe that there’s nothing we can’t achieve when technology is used to connect people... To empower love, and take a stand on equality, and respect.
#IFeelYou is a declaration of love through stories of real connection. It’s what uncovers the truth that distance won’t ever mean separation again.
Because no matter how far we are from each other #IFeelYou is our proclamation of free love.
#IFeelYou is a collaboration between KIIROO and the Hedonistologist, inspiring love through art and technology.