Former Porn Star, current Sex Educator, and Sex Tech retailer LeNair Xavier blesses us with yet another epic opinion piece on why it is he finds that men should watch more "Feminist Porn". Explore his take on "Real World Sex" and let him guide you through his motivations and arguments about why including Intimacy into porn leads to more realism in the bedroom in real life.
Watch More Feminist Porn man,... Just do it!!
Males of all sexual orientations learn from porn.
As much as the industry tries to deny this, it's true.
It's why there are expectations of sexual roles. And even positions based on race with gay males. Also, while my stance is that condom use is a matter of choice, the mysterious appearing condom in porn is why condom use is not done with as much pride as it should be by those who choose to use them.
And "lessons" learned from porn are why I have to inform many male customers buying a sex toy for their girlfriend/wife that they need to also buy lube.
Case in point, in case you didn't know, a female's vaginal lubrication is meant to work with the lubrication in combination with skin (of the penis), which a toy does not have.
I mean, what is the likelihood that every girlfriend a straight male customer has ever had, had a vagina that produced so much lubrication that she didn't need lube to use with a toy?
Not likely.
Yet I have to tell many guys to buy lube. Why?
I'm sure it's because they see female solo scenes in porn, and she never lubes up herself even a smidge. Nor does she lube up a single toy that she puts in her vagina.
"I actually considered giving up watching porn.
For I felt it was giving off too many wrong messages about sex."
After my time in the industry, as much of a voyeur I am, and enjoy being, I actually considered giving up watching porn.
For I felt it was giving off too many wrong messages about sex.
It's also one of the reasons I left the industry.
Then the fascination with feminist porn surfaced. After looking into it, I realized that feminist porn showed what I was looking for. What I felt we all should be looking for when we choose to use porn as a means to play voyeur.
Unlike the history of mainstream porn, which is often male-produced and directed, feminist porn is usually not a degradation to either party. The end result thus far of that male producing and directing porn has unfortunately justified the negative stigma associated with porn overall.
For it often sends the message that all sex acts should solely benefit the penetrating male, while the penetrated party (be they a straight female or gay male bottom) is simply a tool to achieve their orgasm. A tool that is no more human or alive than a masturbatory aid.
There is also an intimacy between partners in feminist porn that the porn we have come to know is too often void of. Not just a physical intimacy, but a spiritual one as well. This speaks volumes to me because I've long believed sex to be both a physical and spiritual connection. Even if it's a fleeting one from a tryst in a bar backroom. The difference is whether or not all parties involved acknowledge both connections. Feminist porn often inspires you to do so.
Feminist porn has drawn me in so much that of the many channels on FeelMe.com, while I define as a predominately gay bisexual with practically all of the sex I have being with men, the channel I have subscribed to is FeelPorna, which is porn produced with the intended audience being females.
I chose that channel because its content counters almost all of the aforementioned issues. Plus, since I've stated before either on this blog and my own that in reality, I'm versatile, but during my masturbation session, I usually am a gay male bottom in my fantasies. And the content on FeelPorna is more to my liking than the fantasies of bottoming incited by typical gay porn.
I think all males should consider looking into what I've come to like about feminist porn.
Maybe over time, they will humble their ego and realize that they have been missing some degree of the mark with their partner. To make that realization happen, a straight woman can share in watching it with her boyfriend/husband, which can, in turn, lessening his guilt about watching porn overall. Of course, there is a point of excess, but that point changes depending on the individual.
The tougher sale of this idea of a male watching feminist porn might be to a gay male pairing. For there are a number of gay males who cringe at the beauty of a vagina.
Even though without that beauty, none of us would be here. However, if you are part of that more open-minded gay couple if the dialogue hasn't started already, like it should do for a straight couple, watching feminist porn can help start the dialogue about (or incite) the penetrating male listening more to the words and body language of their sex partners.
For a gay male viewing it, the actions and emotions behind the sex acts in the movies are no different than those in gay sex. The only difference are the body parts. Once a gay male realizes that, he too can be incredibly turned on by feminist porn. Maybe even inspire more gay male porn producers/directors to bring that intimacy into the gay porn they produce/direct.
"Gay Porn Producers can learn about the level of Intimacy introduced in Feminist Porn"
Also, let's not forget how practically all males are visually stimulated. So be he straight, gay, or bi, feminist porn puts the viewing of naked bodies for him on a more even level.
This all makes feminist porn the porn I watch with less of a need to wince. For its depictions bring forth less conflict with my moral core in how I play with my sex partners.
With that said, I think all males can benefit from viewings of it. So maybe this article can result in a search for porn that will awake, or further satisfy the craving for more intimacy in the porn the males in our lives watch. Resulting in more attentive and understanding penetrating males and more fearless communication from straight women and gay male bottoms.
In short, better sex incited by feminist porn for all porn viewers.
WRITTEN BY:
LeNair Xavier has studied sex and sexuality by reading up on and observing various sexual behaviors. These observations has led to time in the gay porn industry, and now writing erotic poetry. Tales of his journeys leading to his growing sexual knowledge can be found on his blog, L’s X-Ray Vision.
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