Pump Up Your Sex Drive

There are many things in this world that can get someone in the mood for sex. If you think about getting someone in the mood, it is easy for us males. It is very often due to us males being more visually stimulated in our sex life. Although, due to the busy and draining schedules demanded of today’s male, we might need other senses to be stimulated.

More so, to the point of making us better understand what it takes to get females in the mood. Since they require more emotional and mental stimulation. That doesn’t lessen the fun of the process. In fact, it might inspire us to become more creative in the process.

So here’s a list of 5 ways to get your lover in the mood:

Erogenous Zones

This is one of the more obvious ways to get someone in the mood. Since we all have those spots. Those places on our body that whether our sex partner or ourselves touch them…we find ourselves becoming the horniest thing on the planet. And the more sensitive that spot is to sparking our libido, we often care about the who but have way less care about the where we get it on for that release.

So if your partner wants to get you in the mood, and they know a touch of your erogenous zone(s) is the way, let them go there. And “there” is a different place for different people. It can even be multiple places. You can also go there yourself. Or direct your sex partner to touch and play with that magic spot for you.

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This is also an obvious method. The problem is that with many cultures, many are led to believe being a voyeur as unnatural and vile. The truth is, however, it is actually quite natural. For it has been found that many animals are aroused by seeing sexual acts by others in their species, as well as animals in other species. We, humans, are no different in that regard. And who could blame us when sex is such a beautiful thing.

We humans like to watch. We do it by going to sex parties. We do it with pornography. I myself have had encounters at sex parties and bar backrooms. Where me and my playmate got touched by a voyeur, but not always in a way that is them trying to intrude upon us. It was actually to feel the sexual energy of my playmate and myself and take it into their own play with someone else. So we sparked their mood, and they were passing on to their playmate.


Words are powerful. Many might not realize just how great of a power they are. For while words are the weapon cyber-bullies use to break someone’s spirit, the writer of a love letter uses words to reel in who they believe to be their soul mate. And on that note, it can be the same tool to get a prospective sex partner to become horny.

I know this, for this is my confession….

Be they the scientific, or (subtle or raunchy) slang term, I get sexually aroused by, words about sex and genitalia when it is said by someone I find sexually attractive. All that person has to do is let me know when and where the opportunity for us to get together is, and I’m all theirs.

And I’m sure I’m not the only one. Why else would we scream and howl at each other at erotic open mics, where I’ve been both the audience member and performer of erotic poetry and stories? It is for this reason that last year, I submitted a term to the Urban Dictionary, and it was accepted.

The term is “word-perv” – A person who is easily sexually aroused by words, especially sexual terms, be they scientific or slang terminologies.


Sometimes, certain sounds can get us in the mood. Sometimes, those sounds are instrumental music. Other times, they can be actual songs, which combines this sex catalyst with the previous one of words. For the right combination of music and lyrics, it can definitely get a music lover in the mood. In fact, I’ll give you (lucky) 7 that I have used on my sex playlists that got me compliments for setting the mood:

  1. “I Want You” (remake) by Madonna
  2. “In The Closet” by Michael Jackson
  3. “Throb” by Janet Jackson
  4. “Skin” by Rihanna
  5. “Do What U Want” by Lady Gaga with R. Kelly
  6. “So Deep” by Jim Verraros
  7. “It” by Prince

And other times, it can be a sound that is a part of sex. This is what inspired my erotic poem, “The Symphony of Sex“. In writing it, I tried to think of all of the sounds associated with sex that can turn on someone aroused by sounds like myself. Such as bedsprings, moans, the sound of bodies slapping together, especially sweaty ones – all of that. They can all be triggers to get someone in the mood.

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The way one smells is nothing new in making someone get in the mood for sex. It’s the reason the perfume/cologne business is a big money-making business. It is also why pheromones are either included in the ingredients of some perfumes/colognes or sold by themselves. This, however, is modern-day thinking in making someone want to have sex with you. So what happened before perfumes and colognes?

Before perfumes and colognes, it was natural scents that got one in the mood. Even today, some cultures don’t believe in deodorant for the very purpose of seducing the opposite sex. Well, since sex is an act that incites primal behavior, it can sometimes block out those things we have been taught by the modern teachings of our parents, peers, and the media.

Hence, why I myself admit that if I’m attracted to a man, I can be turned on by his body odor. Primarily when it’s brought about by hard work without deodorant. So I’ve evolved enough with the times to not be tolerant of natural body odor most of the time. However, I do embrace it when my primal instincts connected to sex yearn to be awakened or are sparked by one of the previously mentioned sex-inciters.

This short list shows that our 5 senses play a key role in what gets us in the mood for sex. So all one has to do is study your prospective sex partner long enough to figure out their trigger(s). Since we all have at least one. A person just might put up more of a guard because they know how sensitive theirs are. So our job is to pique those senses IF they allow us in their presence long enough to do so.

Written by:

LeNair Xavier

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