Sex & Depression: You are not alone
One of the things that makes depression and sex such a terrible disease is that it manages to convince each of its victims that the problem is them. For many years, it was something that no one talked about, so every person battling depression and sex was expected to go it alone.
It’s no secret that depression can have an effect on your sex life. Some advice centers around faking it ’til you make it, or the emphasis on simply functioning sexually. Often, there’s more focus on helping men with depression and sex is to get and maintain an erection than there is on people of any gender taking control of their pleasure. However, many women suffer from anorgasmia as a result of taking medication like SSRIs.
This doesn’t mean that SSRIs are inherently bad, of course. Many people have found a new balance, a new equilibrium, thanks to anti-depressants. It’s just that many of these drugs have sexual side effects. If we don’t talk about them, then everyone who’s experiencing them is left to think they’re alone, they’re broken, maybe that they’re stuck this way forever. (Note: Always ask your doctor before you make any changes, and if possible, see a therapist concurrently. A multidimensional approach is often best.)
Crista Anne, a blogger, long-time sex educator, and sex-positive mother extraordinaire has decided to take back her sexual pleasure in the form of #OrgasmQuest. Crista was recently prescribed antidepressants, which have made a positive difference in her daily life. Her partnered sex life is still great, but she misses her solo sex life. It had always been an important part of who she was: “I came out of the womb depressed, but I also came out of the womb with one hand on my clit and it’s really never left,” she says.
#OrgasmQuest has received national attention and, as they say, gone viral. It turns out that many more people – of all genders – find themselves needing to embark on their own Orgasm Quest. This is a much more prevalent situation in our society than perhaps we’d previously acknowledged. (You can check out a full interview with Crista Anne here.)
Another champion of sex and depression is JoEllen Notte, of the blog The Redhead Bedhead. JoEllen has been open about her mental health struggles and triumphs on her blog for a few years now and is often regarded as one of the leading voices in the sex and depression conversation.
JoEllen has written some fantastic articles on a wide range of topics related to sex and depression: From how to stay sex positive while you’re dealing with depression, to why “just do it” is a bad motto for sex while depressed, to practicing self-care. JoEllen’s blog contains a wealth of information, and you should absolutely check it out.
Sex blogger DizzyGirl, of Toy Meets Girl, began sex toy reviewing in an effort to find something that would beat her anorgasmia (inability to climax). In the fabulous post “How DizzyGirl Got Her Groove Back”, she outlines the methods that have worked for her, while also acknowledging that you should seek assistance from a medical professional (A+ advice). While it may seem counterintuitive to say “This works for me, it may not work for you,” in fact, it’s just helpful to get the conversation started. Letting people know that they aren’t alone makes a big difference.
One thing that all of these journeys have in common is that adult toys have played a role. Sex toys can be amazing tools for those who find orgasm difficult. Sex with a partner comes with its own unique kind of pleasure; even if you don’t climax, you get the skin to skin touch, a sense of closeness. But for many, orgasms are still elusive. We hope that KIIROO devices may be able to help. Onyx provides a very different kind of stimulation, like nothing you’ve felt before. New stimulation can sometimes help reawaken sexual responses. Similarly, Pearl doesn’t just transmit data – it also has a powerful motor and can be used clitorally or for G-spot stimulation.
Our goal at KIIROO is to give the world another possibility of intimacy and sexual pleasure. If we can make a difference in people’s lives, then we’ve done our job.